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I crave advice from those about handling midlife challenges, for example philosophical reflections, fading relevance, developing a neck akin to a surrealist painting plus a fresh interest regarding sunny relocation programs. Most recently, I read his remarks about hitting fifty via a discussion: “I think if you’re going to have a good go at the second half of your life, you have to edit away all the noise,” he said. “Spend time with positive individuals. I steer clear of downbeat types – ‘energy vampires’ – and am learning to decline more often.”

Initially, I wondered: isn’t this contradictory about evading pessimists and honing one’s rejection skills? Could that imply he needs to dodge his own tendencies? I get it – such remarks define us negative types, and yes, I’m one of them. Yet, we gloomy souls like to call ourselves “vibe suckers”. Refrain from using “downer” or “spoil-sport” – these comparisons to everyday gear are insulting; we possess sentiments (though often pessimistic). In a bind, I might tolerate “melancholy luxury blanket”.

It’s possible you’re also a member. Do you tend to be the event’s realist rather than its cheerleader? Does your thorough reply to casual greetings make people step back nervously? Do proposed “enjoyable” plans trigger a visage akin to having ingested something unpleasant? Can you relate deeply to pessimistic characters; has an intuitive ever described your energy as dull?

Should this ring true, welcome to the club, and it’s fine. Despite a whole self-help-inspired trend urging people to get rid of friends who “drain” them, I’d argue we offer real value. I reckon a mood hoover would have said something discouraging – or at least made a slug-swallowing face – when Jamie described his plan to write a kids’ book with an Australian First Nation main character without consulting Indigenous communities, which could have prevented a whole lot of problems, upset and offence. Such critical insights aren’t typical from “positive” friends.